foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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