last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
