Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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