just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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