I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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