No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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