By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
