he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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