Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize