Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
