my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
