So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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