So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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