It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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