all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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