All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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