I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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