i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
