i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so let's talk penis.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
