i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
