i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
