Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
