Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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