i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
