Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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