ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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