For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
