i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
