actually, I'm a sock model
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
