you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
