Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I love you. Go after that dick
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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