i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
zippers are such a cool invention
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
