he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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