Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
