Farmville is her only friend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
