You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
