I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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