I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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