Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
