i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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