Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
