Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
