Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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