I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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