He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
