3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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