She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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