Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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