Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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