problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Say something about gay babies.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
