bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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