Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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