he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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