So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize