He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
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do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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