My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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