IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then my night got REAL pukey
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