Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
