Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
