so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
