Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
