i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
