Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
