Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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