So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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